First of all, Nicole wanted to do my zine with me. How kickass is that? Less stress for me. YAY!
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Scabies and metal heads.

Fine I won't rip off Leftover Crack. The best thing Stza ever taught us is that throwing donuts at cops will get you arrested. Holding his guitar up to the cops like a gun saying, "This machine kills cops," didn't have ANYTHING to do with it. Or that fact that they were denied access to Canada, have songs about killing cops, the police are at their shows and they threaten to shut the clubs down if they let the band play... But... I know the cops and they're not all you think they are. Sure they protect some people, I'll give them that. Do cops have to attack people for no reason? No. They do anyway. UGH. And he is NOT my uncle. O_O

Another thing that pisses me off is how everyone thinks the ALF supporters are terrorists. Hi, I didn't hijack a plane and crash into a fucking tower killing everyone. Nooo, I just support animal rights. Do some fucking research and you'd know that the ALF does sort of have rules. One of those is about not using violence against humans or non-human animals. So a few people have burned down buildings. You don't know the rest of us so shut the fuck up. Oh yeah, and stupid news people? If you're so fucking against the Animal Liberation Front then why did you show video clips of animals being tortured? Thanks for that but you're still stupid.

Anyway...

Very sexy chicks and dudes
From the same fucker who brought you...
Well I never posted that Jeffree Star song online
I don't plan to either.
But still!
I present to you
Straight for my sober but still slightly fucked up mind
At 7:11 AM Eastern Standard Time
On the 14th day of the 12th month which is December of the year Two thousand and fucking eight.
The one and [probably not] only
JEPH SONG
By me. That is Darla.

Jeph Howard had a very lovely pineapple
That covered his package at Warped Tour
Oh how that pineapple was fucking lucky
But I really wish that it wasn't there at all

This man is covered in tattoos and piercings
And he's the bassist for The Used
He might not be the best singer ever
But he looks really good in that sexy dress

This song seems really shallow
Based on only Jepha's looks
But if you saw that gorgeous man
Then you would completely understand

I'm only just kidding
though he is sex on legs
It's hard to find someone that believes in UFO's
In this fucked up country called the USA.

Jeph also has a dachshund
Her name is Zelda
She was named after a video game
And I must rescue her from Dan Whitesides

Eating meat is disgusting
But I don't have to worry about Jeph
He's kind to the cute little animals
That automatically makes him uber cool

Poor Jepha got humped by Dan
Who didn't even have any lube
That's after he got hit with a drum stick
See Dan is a really evil man [Is he even a man? Haha that poll! Dan kisses boys!]

There's pictures of Jeph kissing Bert
There's pictures of him and Quinn
There's also pictures of Quinn naked
But the teeny fangirls don't need to know that

What's up with this song being about Quinn now?
Jeph is so much cooler
He has a tattoo of a severed unicorn head
That's kind of gross but it has rainbow blood

Back to the shallow part
Have you seen his speedo?
He likes his attractive swimwear
Did anyone notice that he shaves?

Jeph is very fond of cussing
His favorite words seem to be cunt and fuck
He's gotten in more faces of security guards
Than anyone else that Quinn knows

He's one tough motherfucker
But I don't think he'd really hurt anyone
This is the end of my song
About the one and only Jepharee Michael Howard.

THE END.